https://www.kinder-connection.com/blog daily 0.75 2022-04-26 https://www.kinder-connection.com/blog/why-traditional-time-out-needs-to-evolve monthly 0.5 2021-12-31 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/61af90ca9e0e7c5c91866840/80534830-74e0-492d-ae74-aab9400e74df/blog+post+quote+banner.png Blog - “Calm Down Time” Instead of “Time Out” - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/61af90ca9e0e7c5c91866840/2aa79a1e-8d63-41ca-9f15-b4694b5d1263/Calm+Down+Time+Instead+of+Time+Out.png Blog - “Calm Down Time” Instead of “Time Out” - “Go to your room young lady and think about what you’ve done!” Sound familiar? Maybe this statement was on repeat during your childhood, and maybe you’ve even resorted to saying something like this with your own children. What if I told you traditional time-out parenting methods such as this are ineffective compared to self-regulation focused methods? If your goal of discipline goes beyond a singular moment of obedience and desires to transcend into shaping the core values and regulation capabilities of your child, then I encourage you to read on! Let’s take a look at how adapting your discipline approach to integrate the latest scientific understandings of child development can transform not only your child’s behavior, but more importantly, your relationship with your child. Why traditional time-out isn’t helpful… 1. It increases emotional distress and destructive behaviors Being told to “go to your room and think about what you’ve done” serves as a magnifying glass on the bad behaviors and feelings we wish to eradicate. The more a child “focuses” on their negative emotion, the more that emotion grows. A child stewing in anger in an emotionally reactive state alone is the perfect recipe for destructive and manipulative behaviors. 2. It miscommunicates your belief about your child When a child is sent to their room, the adult is telling them to go away and ultimately communicating to that the child, in their current state, is unwanted. While in our darkest hours, there may be a pinch of truth to this statement, I will argue for all of us that we ultimately believe our children are worthy of our love at all times- including the messiest and snarkiest of moments. Sending a child away for their transgression communicates they are not wanted, when really it is their behavior that is the culprit of our disdain. A child sitting alone in their pain often feels misunderstood, which will soon degenerate into a self-belief of inadequacy if not intervened. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/61af90ca9e0e7c5c91866840/418ff4db-753a-4d33-91c7-43b611313d37/Teaching+emotional+regulation+to+children.png Blog - “Calm Down Time” Instead of “Time Out” - Do you teach children emotional regulation skills and give them the opportunity to practice those skills when they need to? From a child development perspective, it’s unreasonable to expect children to have skills that we haven’t taught them. Instead of punishing a child for not having, or not fully mastering these self-regulation skills, everyone (the adult and child) are better served by teaching the child these skills and allowing them the opportunity to practice them when they are upset. When an adult is upset, you wouldn’t tell them to go stand in the corner, be quiet, and think about their overwhelming emotions. Because that would only make them more upset. Instead, you would tell them to walk it off, go relax by doing a calming activity, and revisit the situation later when they are calm. One stance we have at Kinder Connection is that we cannot expect children to do things that adults themselves can’t do. At the end of the day, a child is a human just like us. So if an adult wouldn’t calm down by having a “time out”, we can’t expect it to work for a child. Instead, we have to shift our perspective on how we approach problematic behaviors from children- that misbehaviors are signs of a need to grow in their ability to regulate. Therefore, much like adults, the most effective solution and treatment is to teach them emotional regulation skills and help them practice those skills when they are upset. https://www.kinder-connection.com/blog/our-mission monthly 0.5 2021-12-31 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/61af90ca9e0e7c5c91866840/f3a25741-5a9b-4e32-85b7-19e236a067b5/Kinder+Connection+Quote Blog - Our Mission - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/61af90ca9e0e7c5c91866840/1640979125703-MGMY3GNFM3DG9HZMIUK4/Kinder+Connection+Quote+Pin.png Blog - Our Mission https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/61af90ca9e0e7c5c91866840/d0f8c1a6-5112-42a0-9bd3-52e127769c87/Renee+Mission+Statement.png Blog - Our Mission - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/61af90ca9e0e7c5c91866840/77ed51fe-4939-4d9a-afa5-298168db8bf2/Renee+Johnson+about+page+3.jpg Blog - Our Mission https://www.kinder-connection.com/home daily 1.0 2021-12-31 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/61af90ca9e0e7c5c91866840/e9cb0d60-95d6-4823-9608-748dd614de74/Kinder+Connection+resources+for+exceptional+children.jpg Home - “Only when a child feels valued for who they are as an individual, can they open themselves up to trust and connect with caregivers; and connection is everything.” – Angela Pruess https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ec321c2af33de48734cc929/1607694583486-2PQT0LQ193RL7MCB6DX4/20140228_Trade+151_0046.jpg Home https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ec321c2af33de48734cc929/1618497259178-6XJGK9GR6YAVBQL5L519/20140301_Trade-151_012-2.jpg Home https://www.kinder-connection.com/about-us daily 0.75 2021-12-31 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/61af90ca9e0e7c5c91866840/088254c2-2099-4048-9968-a97ee35cc4f8/Renee+Johnson.jpg About Us - “Our children are our entire world, yet what happens when we don’t understand theirs? Childhood is such a magical and sacred period in development filled with wonder and exploration. My mission is to help parents and caregivers learn to better connect with their children through understanding the wondrous complexities of child development and honing in on our role in shaping who our children become.” -Renee Johnson, LCMHC https://www.kinder-connection.com/contact-us daily 0.75 2021-12-07